I’m on a quest to become a grown-up (Q2BaG-U). To part ways with my childish self. After 33 years of eating fast food, buying cheaply-made clothes, and putting off any kind of exercise wherever and whenever I can… I’m saying, “enough is enough.”

• No more giving in to every impulse my body has.
• No more vaping out in front of the TV.
• If it has a drive-through, I no longer eat there.
• If the sum of the two numbers in its name is 18, I will drive right past.

Last month alone I spent $300+ at fast food restaurants… and I say I don’t have the money for a Core Power Yoga membership. I beg to differ, Rachelle. I think you do.

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I find myself conflicted this morning … There I was last night, rejoicing in the fact that America elected the first African American president in our history. How wonderful for all the people who thought that would never happen. I’m ecstatic that the children of our country (my daughter included) now know that ANYTHING truly is possible.

How can I hold on to the notion that we as a nation are leaving discrimination behind us when Obama is elected president and a proposition like 8 is passed on the same night? Why can’t we just wash our hands of discrimination and move forward. We always have to do it in small chunks. Okay, we’ll let an African American man be president but gays still need to put in their time of suffering. It disgusts me.

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I prefer convenience over all things. This includes quality, ambiance, freshness, and sometimes price. Now, this may not seem shameful, but I truly believe I’m the minority on this one. For instance, I worked downtown for the better half of this year and more often found myself at 7-11 picking up a sandwich and a Green-Tea Sobe than at any of the “exquisite” Little Italy restaurants surrounding me.

So what is it about these “convenience store” experiences that I relate to so much? I think I may have narrowed down some thoughts on this subject while I was eating my pre-packaged salad from VONS during lunch yesterday:

1. I love the ability to wander around at my own pace and pick up exactly what I want.
2. I hate being pressured by the next customer in line or busy waiter/waitress.
3. I don’t have to boldly announce my entire order in front of a group of people.
4. I value the idea of a separated “purchase” and “perusing” process.
5. I like to eat alone. Secretly, I eat very fast and messy. I don’t get stuff all over my clothes but I take large bites making a temporary mess of my face.

In many ways I think the fact that I’m socially awkward is to blame. I always feel like people think I’m boring, unstylish and, of course, fat (as if being fat is the worst thing in the world). So, I’m left with the following question … do I go to therapy and try to get to the root of the problem hoping to blend in with the rest of society or do I just lovingly embrace who I am and quietly enjoy my convenience store lunches?

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It’s true, I’ve officially been part of the great American legal system by way of Jury Duty. In the interest of keeping an unbelievably long story short, I’m officially back at work (narrowly escaping a two-week criminal case).

I’m left wondering about these few things:

1. Do you think our judges had this in mind when they spent countless hours and thousands upon thousands of dollars in law school?
2. What happened to the art of “follow my lead?”
3. Why do people always feel it’s necessary to share their entire life story whenever given the chance to speak? I seriously needed my own portable “Wrap it up” Box.

Anyway, I have discovered that I’m way too wound up and in much too much of a hurry (compared to the rest of the planet) to be a part of any jury. Let’s hope I don’t get another summons for quite some time.

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Did anyone else notice that the 805 was crystal clear this morning. Took me 10 minutes to get to Mission Valley from Chula Vista… usually it’s more like 30-45. Lovin’ that holiday traffic!

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So I decided to wear this new perfume today called Cherry Blossom from Bath & Body Works. It’s not my favorite scent but I’m out of my Pure Seduction from Victoria Secret. Anyway, at several points throughout the day I was attacked by huge bugs wanting some of my sweet nectar (that’s the Cherry Blossom people…stay with me).

First I was trying to have a professional conversation outside and two huge June bugs started making nose dives toward my face and swarming around my head. I had to run away like a frightened little baby. Then as I’m stuck in traffic trying to get on I5 in PB, this dragonfly kept trying to get in my windows. I had to roll them up and even then it kept swarming and banging into the window until I drove away.

A gal likes to feel as pretty as a flower but DAMN Bath & Body Works… you put a sister in danger!

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I got up so late this morning (only 15 minutes to get ready) that I was actually trying to brush my teeth and blow dry my hair at the same time. It was similar to that old challenge where you pat your head and rub your belly.

I wouldn’t recommend attempting this with running water and electrical devices though.

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For the past 3 hours I have been sitting in my apartment thinking that I live in the ghetto because it sounded like there were police helicopters chasing through the neighborhood. Turns out that I left the hood fan on over my stove. What an idiot!?

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Okay, so has anyone seen the commercials for the new greeting cards at Hallmark that are based on music? Yeah, that was my idea. I even made one for my mother a couple of years ago when I first thought of it.

I’m not saying that they stole my idea, I’m just saying that I really need to harvest these thoughts into actual products. The cards are the second idea that went commercial without me (the other one was a game based on movie clips and quotes - now known as the ‘Scene It’ board game). ARGH!!

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Just watched these videos… funny stuff! My favorite line is when he makes the observation that if you’re only eating one type of food each day, you don’t really want it associated with your poop.

Good clean fun.

http://www.angryman.ca/monkey.html

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